Subpoena and Summons Extraordinary
The Royal High Court of the Raging Main
Region of the South Seas }
Domain of Neptunus Rex }
To Whom May Come These Presents -- Greetings and Beware!!!
Whereas, The Good Ship WEST VIRGINIA, bound southward of the Equator, is about to enter our domain; and
Disobey this summons under pain of our swift and terrible displeasure.
Whereas, The aforesaid ship carries a large and loathsome cargo of landlubbers, beach-combers, guard-rats, sea-lawyers, lounge-lizards, parlor-dunigans, plow-deserters, park-bench warmers, chicken chasers,hay-tossers, four-flushers, crossword puzzle bugs, dance-hall sheiks, drug store cowboys, asphalt arabs, and all other living creatures of the land, and last but not least he-vamps,liberty-hounds, San Pedro and Long Beach Caballeros masquerading as seaman, of which low scrum, you are a member, having never appeared before us; and
Whereas, THE ROYAL COURT of the RAGING MAIN will convene on board the good ship WEST VIRGINIA in October, 1944; and
Whereas, An inspection of our Royal Muster shows that it is high time your sad and wandering nautical soul appears before our August Presence; and
Be It Known, That we hereby summon and command you, ___________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________________, now a __________________________________________________________________, U. S. Navy, to appear before the Royal High Court and Our August Presence on the aforesaid date as such time as may best suit OUR pleasure. YUou will accept ost heartily and with good grace the pains and penalties of the awful tortures that will be inflicted upon you to determine your fitness to beone of our Trusty Shellback, and answer to the following charges:
CHARGE I. In that you have hitherto wilfully and maliciously failed to show reverence and allegiance to Our Royal Person, and therein and thereby a vile landlubber and a pollywog.
Our vigilence is every wakeful, our vengeance is just and sure.
|Given Under Our Hand and Seal
| Davy Jones
|Neptunus Rex |
Ruler of the Raging Main